you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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