wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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