You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize