I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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