i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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