I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize