What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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