i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
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Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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