His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize