I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize