And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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