Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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