he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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