I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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