Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize