Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize