Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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