i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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