Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize