Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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