My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize