it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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