HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize