his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize