I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
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i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
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