wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize