I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize