As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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