Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize