Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
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Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
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I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize