...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The air taste purple.
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