my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize