So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
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I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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