you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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