I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Ladies don't puke and tell
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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