I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
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