Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i love accidental penises.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize