i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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