i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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