i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
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I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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