You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
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i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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