so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
dude. I can hear the air.
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