Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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