I wish I could punch you in the face.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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