Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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