there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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