I just saw a hot homeless man
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize