I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize