I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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