your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize