I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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