you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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