My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize