Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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