i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
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Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
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The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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